It's October, 2014. The last time I blogged was in 2012. Everything has changed! I have continued on my journey of life and have made the right choices and the wrong choices and everything in between. I am no longer married. My boys are 5 and 6! I have lost over 80 pounds and gained 40 of it back. I quit my job and started a new one. I turned 40 this year - a memory I will hold dear to my heart forever. So many new people have come into my life and I have connected with life long friends from my youth. Most importantly though I am now following my faith. It's no longer just something in the background.
God is in the forefront of my mind - I struggle - with everything. and it's ok. Some things are worth fighting for, but knowing when it's time to stop fighting is the hard part.
I'm full of so many emotions right now. My relationship with God, with my children, with my family.
I could continue to write all that is wrong or right in my life. What makes me cry and what makes me smile, but the goal of this blog is to reconnect to my past. I think I've been trying to shove it all deep down in to a dark abyss. Thinking that if I don't think about it or remember it will be easier to move forward. All that has done is hold me back and encourage me to make the same mistakes.
It is time to realize my mistakes, own them but most of all forgive myself for them. Just as God has forgiven me. Let go of the guilt of not being the perfect wife, the perfect mother, perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect friend.....Turning 40, I realized I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be the best me I can be. And everyday will be different.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
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